Here and There, Now and Then, where and why......

Aaaah, the pains and pleasures of being a lunatic are many... and I am currently reaping the pleasures- the pains I am sure, have been quite well articulated in my previous posts. So lets list them one by one:

a. This authoress has been finally travelling- yipppeeee! Totally love it- ok, its all been on work, but wtf! I love it. Anything stationery gets to me and I seek change like an alcoholic sensing all the bars nearby- but thats irrelevant. Change finally arrived and this lady went to chennai. Now chennai of course as we all know is a Metro (god knows why they defined it on only population density) but its suppossed to be. Now this pre historic metro is enticing to me simply because I have a few friends there - most importantly its an incentive to meet my best friend, Ajit. 

Now before anyone has notions about Ajit- Ajit is just like me in many ways- except he is a nice creature at heart, a warm gentleman and genuinely caring- he aint acidic and venomous like me - at least not naturally. So I meet up with Ajit's gang of friends during the weekend and we all go to a thing called 'Leather Bar'- neat and not so expensive. Interesting chicks- so that ensured my timepass (no I am not a lesbian- I just love analyzing market competition). Of course, two very old, fifty plus pilots for Kingfisher were hitting on me and looked as if they could spoil my evening- but nay! I wouldnt let them do that!!! would I? So, me and Ajit decided to drink as much as we can - a couple of drinks, shots, baileys and I finally had a Jaggermaister shot - Fuck, the people might have thought I am a drunkard- but hell, it was super fun!!!!!! Of course, I kept wondering why I get the attention of only older men! shitty I say! but then there werent any interesting young men so hell, we can forget them too......

The most important thing about my chennai visit was THE FALL- i slipped and like a Hritikh Roshan- landed on my butt crack! OH FUCK! it hurt and I was in screaming pain- couldnt move- sure, my ass looked a lot like J Lo's, soon enough, and I thought of insuring them like her- but I aint famous like her as yet.. long way to go.... 

The pain has been following  me ever since- but the plus point is my ass looks sexy in a skirt now!!!

b. The Hyderabad visit- Ok so now I am here and staying with my colleague and a real nice friend ( I sure am lucky, and as my boy friend says- very resourceful in these areas). The stay has been neat for now- a stint at 10 D for dinner with friends, a largely scandalized hyderabadi populace-- a lot of them have not seen women like my colleagues and me who smoke openly, dress as if the world belongs to them and are quite comfortable in a group with ten other men.

The best thing about hyderabad so far has been- the weather! Oh, I love autum and this chilly breeze. (Kindly note: mumbai dosent have winters and I MISS THEM). So hyd was such a nice change, I mean I know mumbai is a place to be and gives a career oriented lady far greater freedom but yet.. the air is so crisp, the breeze so unpolluted, that at times I get tempted....aaaaaaaaaah the little pleasures that make up one brilliant smile! And its seconded by the boyfriend in question, instantly noting the happiness in my voice. What I like about my bf (the reason I keep mentioning him in my posts) is that he is crazy like me-- he gets wary of me a lot of times, but lets me do my thing. Hence the credit listings for his infinite endurance capacities......

Random thoughts from the Soul

Its been ages that I have posted anything- Not that I or anyone else cares- but yeah some quaint reader might wonder whats wrong with the verbal dysentry that my mind is so often affected with. 

The past two -three weeks nothing much has been happenning on the work front. Things have been cold and for the first time in life I have not been 'too busy to breathe'. Sad, I like that kind of a life, that pushes me, lures me, calls me towards a trap of a vicious circle of morning to night, night to dawn and again till I know not where the year went by. Of course, William Henry Davies - the guy who wrote "What is this life, full of care, no time to stand and stare' would be turning and twisting in this grave while I write this but what he forgets is that What makes me appreciate the boughs, the flowers the trees is when they are luxuries, when they are unattainable. If i had all the time to stand and stare then I might not ever find them interesting. The fact that I have been too busy to look and stare at them when I catch those stolen glimpses at nature is what makes it beautiful, more exciting. 

Sadly, I have been caught up in another vicious circle- a circle of 'the living off the dead'- ok before anyone takes off on interpretations- what i mean is i have again gone back to the mundane, sick, complacent, indifferent me! Not a good thing, this kind of sickness prevents me from having a purpose, a reason to live, engulfs me in its cloud and gradually stifles the human spirit out of me. 

It sometimes causes what I dread the most- A silent but loudly echoing scream....

If by Rudyard Kipling (awesome!)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

An Ode to 'A Still Born Dream'

Of rays and sunshine

Of the red in the skies and the dance with the leaves

Of the breeze in my hair and the desire to be there.... 

Of the right to dream and to feel able to capture

Of a reason to live, a reason to belong to oneself

A reason to strive, a meaning to life

Of the joy to open my palm and know that I can achieve...

But then what if it died before it was born-

What if the choice was wrong, what if the longing remained-

Worse: what if none exists?

What if there is no direction

What if the search has been futile

The eyes dry, tired yet hopeful

That it shall soon appear and the seeking shall end.

Living like the dead, hurting like the wounded

And seeking retribution like the wronged,

Dignity lost like a body being dragged to the funeral pyre;

I pay my respects to a dream thats now a memory

An ode to my 'still born' vision... 

To---

Cant do without listing down my favourite poem of all time. This is To-- by P. B. Shelly - a beautiful poem dedicated to Love by Shelly....

ONE word is too often profaned     For me to profane it;  One feeling too falsely disdain'd     For thee to disdain it;  One hope is too like despair     For prudence to smother;  And pity from thee more dear     Than that from another.  I can give not what men call love:     But wilt thou accept not  The worship the heart lifts above     And the heavens reject not,  The desire of the moth for the star,     Of the night for the morrow,  The devotion to something afar     From the sphere of our sorrow?

To my BF

Ok, it goes like this 

Moti was single, ready to mingle but could not find someone to jingle. Motu see's moti on skype, and thinks the time is ripe, for him to do something exciting in life. 
Both of them went on a date, at the nearby mocha gate, cappuccino and iced tea they drank, while motu pink flyod and led zep sang. 
Moti thought the guy may not be good looking,
But wouldnt mind seeing what beneath the exterior is cooking, 
Motu thinks, she's not bad,
In bed i hope she run's mad. 

The dates went on, each putting their best foot on
Somewhere along the way,
They realized everything was not that gay,
For things took a serious turn, 
moti felt something inside her burn,
Motu felt he could not take a U turn,
The strange feeling was containing them like an Urn. 
Moti tries to stay away, for she recognizes a special feeling-
Motu asks her to not to fight it; as he too from the insides is peeling. 

Motu asks moti to come see his room,
she comes and leaves vroooooooom.
scared and shocked,
she still visits the next day, in motu's dorm block.
Moti on bed, motu on the chair,
moti holds his hands, motu dosent move a hair, 
Thinking whether he could commit,
Marriage, oh he was too young, to climb that summit
Tells moti, she needs to wait,
Moti agrees in love and haste. 

I love you, they never said,
All they discovered, was each other in bed, 
Two weeks later, motu realized how much moti meant
I love you he said, moti was merry and decided her love would never relent
They celebrated days and nights,
Found love was strong that might,
But soon to their dismay, 
Love wasn't enough, as seemed at first sight-
Difference of opinions, of two determined minds,
She saw red and he saw blue,
What was happenning neither had any clue. 

Adjustment was another thing-
They realized, we are two people with opposite zing
Pain and suffering oh woe befall were
Where Love's secret's dwell
Respect and understanding seemed too demanding
Each one thought the other was too commanding- 

Leave, we shall for freedom is much dearer,
But each loved the other, and wanted to be nearer,

Pledged togetherness for ever 
They decide that love would test them like never
But belief and trust, were stronger than love 
They knew that they found their soul mate in the person Now,

Moti learnt to live with motu's tempers
Motu leant to adjust to moti's unpredictable ranters
Moti leant motu's irritation, motu learnt moti's complications, 
Moti began understanding motu's need for attention
Motu began loving moti's need for space and dimension

Happy as ever, like sugar and pepper,
life could be blissful
Motu loves hugging moti
Moti love kissing motu
Motu and moti are now a much happier story :)

To My Unknown Lover

For that one unknown touch

For that slight smile

For that brief glance

For that little romance

For that agonizing wait

For that song on my lips

For that shiny glint in my eye

For that reason to embrace the world

To dance in the cold rain in a crazy twirl

To dress with such care

For one look of sheer delight

For one careless caress 

Of passion and fire

For one moment of greed and want

For one second to belong and let there be none

I dedicate this to my unknown lover

For a lifetime of knowing that we exist and are one